1. step – FINDING “WHYS”
Honesty and authenticity is what humans are naturally born with.
We come to this world pure and unique, unaffected yet by the type of society we are about to grow up in.
As we age, we are taught by multiple sources what is “right,” what is right to say, what is right to think, what is right to behave like, what is right to eat, and the list goes on.
If we are not careful and mindful enough, we can get easily lost in all those requirements shaped by society for “who are we supposed to be” and eventually found ourselves being dishonest to ourselves and people around us.
If you grew up in a developed country, the chances are that you are forced to be dishonest daily during many occasions.
It almost seems that the society wants us to be dishonest and honesty is often considered impolite and rude.
But the more we escape our true-self, our honesty, the more lost and unhappy we become.
There is always a way, to be honest, and not hurt ourselves or others by it.
Where to begin?
The essential step to becoming honest again is to determine where is your dishonesty coming from. “Why” are you dishonest in the first place.
Is the root cause fear of any kind? Fear from not fitting in, being rejected, not being loved?
Or is your dishonesty caused by the lack of self-acceptance and self-love? Is there someone who you tend to be more dishonest with than others? When did you start being dishonest? Where is your dishonesty leading you and is the direction you want your life to take?
The “why” behind your dishonesty is the combination of answers to the questions above. Find those “whys,” sit down, make yourself a tea, spend time with yourself and this time honestly reflect on your life and get those answers so you can move on.
You can read the full guide on HOW TO Find your “whys” later.
Being honest comes with many benefits, and one of the most life-changing ones is getting back your authenticity.
2. step – AUTHENTICITY
It is very paradoxical that the more people desire being liked and loved these days, the more they escape their true-self and try to please others, no matter how much dishonesty that requires. When all it takes to be liked, loved and successful, especially these days, is being 100% authentic.
Authenticity is a buzzy word lately and is reflecting on how far in erasing uniqueness we’ve come as humanity.
I heard more people in the past year saying “I don’t know how my authentic self looks like” than saying “Let’s grab some food, I am hungry.”
Especially young people all around the world strive to find their authentic selves as finding it is the only redemption from what society made from us.
I lost my authenticity roughly around the age of 13, and because I have already searched for my “whys,” I know exactly how it happened and what was it caused by.
It was the day I got my first period, the day I officially turned into a woman and stopped being a child.
I remember that day very vividly as I was with my extended family, celebrating the 17th of November – national holiday in the Czech Republi and I had to tell everyone what happened because I was too long on the toilet and people started to wonder where I am.
That day, many women from my family came to me with advice on how to “treat” period.
How to hide it from others, how not to talk about it in public, how not to mention it in front of guys as they might find it disgusting. I remember feeling surprised by how many rules apply to the period topic.
Now I know I didn’t have to listen to those people, but hey, I was 13, and I was still a child, and that day I was confronted with the first area in life where dishonesty was required by society.
Ever since that day, I started acting the way I was expected to. Maybe the 17th of November wasn’t the day I lost my authenticity, but that’s how I remember it.
The ultimate gift
Your authenticity indeed is the most significant gift you receive with your life when you come to this world. I know very well myself that once you lose it, it is immensely hard to find it back.
Because when you start rediscovering your authenticity, you can find out how far from your true-self you might be living your life at the moment. But this process is essential.
Be brave, listen to yourself, use your brain and be authentic.
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3. step – SELF-TRUTH
Last but not least step towards being honest is closely connected to being authentic, and it is to be true to yourself.
Once you find the reasons why you haven’t been honest, and you get your authenticity back, it’s time to live accordingly and being true to yourself means precisely that.
Accomplishing the 3rd step requires repetitive decision to stay true to yourself in every situation that comes up, and that takes tons of courage in the beginning.
Remember though that courage comes with practice, therefore practicing honesty is necessary in order to excel in it.
And I promise that making difficult changes, such as choosing honesty for all areas in your life, will reward you in positive ways you can’t even imagine yet.
Most people are terrified of honesty as they believe it always hurts but that doesn’t have to be true.
There is usually 100+1 way how to express your opinions, feelings or ideas without being harsh or impolite.
And to be honest, I believe honesty is about the exact opposite from harmful.
It is an art of telling your opinions, feelings or ideas in an encouraging and a loving way that will lift others up.
Look for the release of the 3-step guide on HOW TO Be True to Yourself.
It took me few years to learn how to “speak love” as I call it and in case you would be interested in learning it too I will be more than happy to share it with you in another HOW TO.
- The Honesty Challenge – this challenge is dedicated to the 1st step of this guide, it will force you to confront your “whys” as it is the necessary action towards becoming honest. Finishing this challenge will get you closer to your authentic self and your ability to be true to yourself will improve.
- The Truth About Honesty and Dishonesty – Dan Schawbel is sharing his knowledge and results of research he conducted on honesty and dishonesty topic. If you want to gain a deeper understanding of why people lie and what goes into such decision of theirs, you will find Dan’s article very beneficial.
- How Honest Are People on Social Media? – this article by Cortney S. Warren focuses on honesty in connection to social media. In today’s age, this should be a world-widely discussed topic. Cortney explains how and why does dishonesty on social media affect you and confronts you with the naked truth about social media at the end.
- 3 Ways to Deal With a Lying Co-worker (That Don’t Involve Losing It) – don’t be fooled by the title of this article saying it focuses on the work environment. This guide by Stacey Lastoe will give you great tips for dealing with dishonest people in general.
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