1. step – CALMNESS
When it comes to stress management the number of tools and methods are countless.
Breathing techniques, physical exercises, hanging out with friends, laughing or even chewing gum (yes, this is what some websites advise you to do).
You might be wondering why are my guides a bit different from the other ones, and honestly, I am happy if you do.
The explanation is here – breathing techniques, physical exercises, hanging out with friends, laughing or even chewing that gum might help you relieve stress instantly for a short period. The moment you stop those actions, stress will come back.
Stress management tools are instant fixes, and they don’t deal with the root cause of your stress. I tried them myself, and none of them were long-term stress relieve solutions for me.
All those tools don’t reduce the actual stress in your mind; only lower the stress symptoms.
By following the 3 steps in my Stress Relieve guide you will find the root causes, the “whys” behind your stress, you will put your mind into present moment to see them clearly, therefore become able to resolve them.
Just stay calm so you can focus on finding the real reasons behind your stress.
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2. step – FINDING “WHYS”
If you’ve read some of my HOW TOs already, you must have mentioned that finding your “whys” in any area of your life that you chose to understand, change or improve is a must.
Start by writing down what are you stressed about and the “whys”, the reasons, behind it.
Don’t get satisfied with the obvious answer. Dig deep and find the true reasons, the ones you don’t like and are tough to accept are usually the real “whys” that you are looking for.
A story from my life:
I remember my friend from college to be extremely stressed out about our final exams.
She was smart, studied throughout the year and yet she wasn’t able to study for the final exam due to the amount of stress she was experiencing. She called me and asked me how she can relieve her stress. She tried breathing and going for a run, even called her other friend before she called me.
So I asked her why she is feeling so much stress. She replied she thinks that she is not going to make it. But why does that stresses you I asked her back. She said, “well because I am not gonna make it!”.
That is no real reason though!
My friend still had another two shots to try that final exam in case she would fail (which she didn’t). It took us a good 45 minute of conversation for her to realize that she is not stressed about the exam itself, nor the fact she could fail, but about her family’s opinion about her if she wouldn’t succeed at the first try.
So what did she do?
She called her parents, told them how she feels and what stresses her. They immediately assured her that there is no need for such stress because they will love her no matter how she performs with that final exam and that the possible failure will not change anything about her in their eyes.
My friend finished the call, took a deep breath and smiled. There was no reason for stress anymore. She took care of the root cause, and she could focus on studying as she needed to.
The message here is that people often make themselves believe the wrong root cause of their stress due to not making enough effort to find the real “why” and when they target the wrong spot to relieve stress from, they can not succeed.
Don’t make such a mistake, take time to find the real “whys” and write them down.
You can read the full guide on HOW TO Find your “whys” here.
3. step – PRESENT MOMENT
Look at the list you wrote and tell me how many things on the list are connected to the future?
Really think about it.
Even though you might feel stressed about a current struggle, it very probably affects the future and future is something that hasn’t happened yet.
Worrying or stressing out won’t change the way future will happen; instead, it might only make it worse.
What can change the way you feel right now and make the future unfold in the best way possible is to let go of the stress for this moment and instead come back to reality – to being present.
By doing so, you can look at any situation with a clear mind and necessary focus for making the next steps towards solving whatever might be stressing you.
There is always a way to turn a stressful situation into an advantage if you remain present.
It can mean using your position as an opportunity to practice your stress management or finding new ways of dealing with it. It is all possible once you focus on the present moment and forget the future.
If you look at my college friend example, she has not only taken care of the stress cause; she also used her situation to evolve the relationship with her parents. She got to know their minds better and even got the so much needed support.
For learning HOW TO Be Present you can check the 3-step guide as usual.
- The Stress Relief Challenge – are you ready to find and tackle the “whys” behind your stress? This challenge is a great tool you can use to track your stress and apply this guide to. Stress-free life is 1 week and 1 challenge away.
- Effects of Stress on Your Health – I have been the type of person who went on for years telling myself: “ok, I am feeling really stressed, but I have all these things going on in my life, once they will be gone, the stress will go as well”. Guess what..”the things” did go away and new things came, and they will be coming forever. Don’t hazard with your health, please. Stress can have irreversible effects on your body and mind. Love yourself enough to learn how to relieve stress today.
- 11 Signs and Symptoms of Too Much Stress – at one period of my life I was stressed to a level that I didn’t even realize I am stressed anymore. I was experiencing most of the symptoms mentioned in this article, and my health was at serious risk. Read through these signs and symptoms and if you are experiencing them, act immediately.
- 9 Big Reasons To Really, Truly Manage Your Stress – if you are still not convinced to make taking care of your stress a priority, I am sure you will be, after reading this article by William Cole. And as he says: “If you’re waiting for the right time to focus on stress management and your overall health, it’s now.”
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